I can still remember my first real job after my study back in 2004 in Amsterdam. I started in the Sales department of an IT company. The whole Sales team consisted back then of guys. Not only were they guys, they were really tall guys from 1.80 and higher. And then there was I, back then the only female in the Sales team and very petite. Whenever they were standing in a group talking with each other, giving each other compliments, I couldn’t join the conversation. I would have to look up and speak a bit louder. It was also in the same company when I got to hear that I was not in advantage because I was small and not a guy. And that I therefore have to prove myself in words and doing.
So I did, because of my disadvantage I learned to run harder than anyone else. I even wore a suit because I thought it looked professional. I started first and ended as a last person working in the office (until I was kicked out because they had to lock-off). After office hours I headed to my parents to eat a meal in 15 minutes, said them goodbye and went home to work further, often until midnight to get the job done. Of course the job was never done but I really got a lot of adrenaline from it, I became a workaholic. On holidays I always had my blackberry with me, back then it was the only device on which you could receive and send e-mails.
I realised some years ago that I missed out a lot of things. I even had to do a course of Mindfulness because I felt that I could not enjoy the current moment anymore, being somewhere and enjoying every moment of it. Even with food, like when you eat you really should enjoy every bite, the atmosphere where you are, taste of the food and its structure. I don’t regret for the hard working because it brought me lots of beautiful things that I can do now. But some things I would have done differently, such as really being there for my family more then I did back then. Seeing more of the world and enjoying every bit of life. All that I am making up for it now.
Garden of Versailles
Enjoying food at LittleV in Rotterdam
Travel the world! Some impressions..